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Taking your elderly relative under your wing and into your home can be much harder than you imagined; so give it much serious thought before you embark on this mammoth task. It sounds easy enough, just a little extra food to prepare and your loved one will fit into your schedule. Don’t be fooled. Elderly people can be so dismayed at losing their independence they may think they can rule the household and dictate what goes on and when.

My 99 year-old mother doesn’t like the TV on of music; talking through whatever is being listened to, calling it rubbish. There is one piece of music she likes but only when she wants it played. If I go against her wishes she sits with a po-face, spoiling my enjoyment anyway. Also in her world everything happens instantly when she wants it! If she doesn’t get her way she creates havoc but at other times she can be sweetness and joy and a pleasure to have around. Any one meeting her would think what a sweet old lady she is. Admittedly she is often in a lot of pain. She cannot see to read sew or knit and the days must be very long and boring but she can be a very difficult companion.

Often the elderly are very worried about going into a care home when they are no-longer able to look after themselves, so it puts relatives in a difficult position, what do you do for the best? Perhaps the older they are the more frightening a care home sounds, whereas today’s oldies seem to be planning ahead.

Having worked in care homes some are very good with dedicated staff, also as a mobile carer, I thought I was well equipped for the task but there are many situations I hadn’t foreseen. During short daily visits to her flat the incessant chatter about everything and nothing weren’t apparent plus she is stone deaf, I am deaf too so communication is difficult, I also love peace and quiet to read write and do what I fancy therefore this new lifestyle is taking some getting used to!

As you can imagine the isolation of this current situation with the Carona virus and the endless period stretching forward with no let up is daunting. I used to have 2 hours a week of rebate. Mum also looked forward to her trips out also the hairdressers visits.

Well there are many people worse off than me, with many sick people dying in hospital; whereas I had a mild dose of the virus and mum escaped it altogether which was a miracle as I was caring for her through the infection.

Thinking of carers everywhere and the sick and lonely, May this wretched virus soon be under control.

If other family matters interest you and you would like to see information on parenting my new book is called: “Stress-Free Parenting”, especially aimed at first time mums. It takes you from birth through the first 5 years, covering all the problem areas like potty training, tantrums, an easy bedtime routine sibling jealousy, preparing for schooldays and much more.